Why You Keep Revisiting the Same Decision

You've decided to leave the job. Then you talk yourself out of it. Then you decide again. Then you doubt. Then you decide. Again.

If this cycle sounds familiar, here's the uncomfortable truth: you may not have fully committed to a decision. You've had thoughts about deciding—but that's not the same as deciding.

What Real Decision Looks Like

A real decision has finality to it. Not certainty about outcomes—that's impossible. But commitment to a direction.

When you've truly decided, you stop debating the question. You move to execution. You accept that you might be wrong and proceed anyway.

Revisiting the same decision repeatedly is a symptom of not actually having made it.

Why We Pseudo-Decide

Fear of commitment. Deciding means closing doors. It means accepting you can't have everything. That's scary. Staying in "decision mode" lets you maintain the fantasy of all options.

Comfort with familiar pain. The current situation is uncomfortable, but it's known. Change is uncomfortable and unknown. The devil you know feels safer.

Secondary gains. Sometimes there are hidden benefits to staying stuck. The drama of indecision gets attention. The difficulty of your situation excuses other things. These aren't conscious—but they're real.

Actually having new information. Sometimes you legitimately revisit because circumstances changed. This is healthy. But be honest about whether the situation is different or you're just cycling.

Breaking the Cycle

Set a real deadline. Not "I'll decide soon." A specific date. "I will make this decision by January 15th and not revisit it."

Make the decision inconvenient to undo. Tell people. Take actions that create momentum. Burn boats if you have to.

Accept that you're choosing discomfort either way. Staying is uncomfortable. Going is uncomfortable. There's no comfortable option. Once you accept this, the comparison becomes clearer.

Ask what you're really afraid of. The surface decision often masks a deeper fear. What happens if you decide and it's wrong? What does that say about you? Often, the fear is survivable.

When Revisiting Is Legitimate

Sometimes you should revisit. If major new information arrives. If circumstances genuinely change. If you realize you made the original decision under duress or with bad data.

But this is different from habitual second-guessing. You'll know the difference by how it feels. Legitimate revision feels like updating. Habitual cycling feels like spinning.

The Cost of Staying Stuck

Every day you spend revisiting a decision is a day you could spend implementing it. Or a day you could spend committed to the alternative.

Pseudo-deciding is exhausting. It consumes mental energy without producing results. It creates stress without resolution.

At some point, you have to choose. Not tentatively. Not with reservations. Actually choose, and then live with it.

That's what deciding means.