Should I Move to a New City? A Values-Based Decision Framework
The pull of a new city comes with romantic notions of reinvention and adventure. But underneath the excitement lies real anxiety about leaving behind familiar places, established relationships, and the life you've built. You wonder if change will bring fulfillment or just new problems in an unfamiliar setting.
Key Takeaway
This decision is fundamentally about Adventure and Growth vs. Community and Belonging. Your choice will also impact your career opportunities.
The Core Values at Stake
This decision touches on several fundamental values that may be in tension with each other:
Adventure and Growth
Your desire for new experiences and personal development. Consider whether a new city would challenge you to grow in meaningful ways.
Community and Belonging
Your need for social connection and a sense of home. Evaluate how leaving your current community would affect your wellbeing.
Career Opportunities
Your professional ambitions and the job market in each location. Assess whether the move would advance or limit your career.
Cost of Living
Your financial situation and how far your money would go. Compare the true cost of living in both locations.
Quality of Life
Your overall lifestyle preferences including climate, culture, and daily experience. Consider what environment helps you thrive.
5 Key Questions to Ask Yourself
Before making this decision, work through these questions honestly:
- 1Am I moving toward something specific, or running away from something I should address?
- 2Have I spent enough time in this new city to know what living there is actually like?
- 3What relationships and support systems would I be leaving behind, and can I build new ones?
- 4How does this move align with my 5-10 year vision for my life?
- 5What would I need to be true in the new city for this move to be 'worth it'?
Key Considerations
As you weigh this decision, keep these important factors in mind:
Watch Out For: Optimism Bias
When considering a move, people tend to overestimate the positives of the new place while underestimating challenges like making new friends, adjusting to a new environment, and the practical headaches of relocation. Be realistic about the transition period, which typically takes 1-2 years.
Make This Decision With Clarity
Don't just guess. Use Dcider to calculate your alignment score and make decisions that truly reflect your values.
Download on the App StoreFrequently Asked Questions
How do I decide which city to move to?
Is it worth moving to a new city for a job?
How do I make friends after moving to a new city?
Should I move to a new city in my 30s/40s?
What are signs I should NOT move to a new city?
Related Decisions
Should I Relocate for a Job?
A job offer in another city forces you to weigh competing priorities. The career opportunity might be exceptional, but uprooting your life—leaving friends, family, and familiar surroundings—feels daunting. You're trying to decide if this is the chance of a lifetime or a disruption you'll regret.
Should I Buy or Rent a Home?
Society often frames homeownership as a milestone of success, creating pressure to buy even when it may not make sense. Meanwhile, renting is dismissed as 'throwing money away.' This oversimplification creates anxiety whether you're itching to buy or feeling content renting, wondering if you're making a financial mistake.
Should I Quit My Job?
The thought of quitting your job often comes with a mix of excitement and dread. You might feel trapped between the security of your current position and the pull of something better, leaving you paralyzed by uncertainty about whether leaving is brave or reckless.
People Also Considered
Similar decisions in other areas of life:
Sources
- Stokols, D., Shumaker, S. A., & Martinez, J. (1983). Residential mobility and personal well-being. Journal of Environmental Psychology.doi:10.1016/S0272-4944(83)80018-0
- Oishi, S. (2010). The psychology of residential mobility. Perspectives on Psychological Science.